REPORT: POST LUNCH 'WATERCOOLER' GAME 65% MORE EFFECTIVE THAN 'HALLWAY BUMP INTO' GAME

The workplace presents many opportunities to transition old versions of one's game into a myriad of alternative methods to punish. Traditionally, running game at the office was a staple of the "do you want to go smoke a cigarette?" or "the reach for the same floor button on the elevator". But the American worker has grown increasingly lazier and dissatisfied with their job, resulting in more water and coffee breaks.

"Nothing says I want to bang you more than keeping the skim milk out for her to use," says Kenton. As a producer at MTV, Kenton works long hours surrounded by tons of interns looking for an excuse to be somebody. And by be somebody, I mean sleep with their superior. Fresh, young college graduates are  thirsty for knowledge. Not so much how to do their job better, but which utility closet has a lock on the door.

Consistency generally is key when demonstrating strength in any given event. However, the evolution of game calls for a continual balance of imbalance. To achieve the principles of efficiency, one might suggest using a variation of the following tactics. The obnoxious observation, "Oh, you went to the beach last weekend? You didn't get much color." The office inside-joke, "...and that's when I told Julie if we do this, no more talking about your cats!" The mutual understanding, "we should fuck...what? I mean I really like your boots." Or the Rhode Island reach around, "excuse me, just grabbing an extra napkin. Sorry, I need two."

Any combination of the aforementioned is sure to initiate an awkward office relationship that should ultimately lead to someone's departure. If you are leaving anyways, then there's no better bon voyage party then one where you promise multiple girls that you always 'had a thing for them'. Sure one or two will laugh in your face, but there's always that one special girl who can't handle her liquor. And my dad always taught me, never let a hammered girl get home on her own. Pay for her sober friends cab, then bring her home.