PAUL GOES P.O.P

DON'T SLEEP ON UCONN

Not many people are picking any sleepers this year. I've heard a case for the top eight seeds, but not much past that. Some love Kansas. Others UNC. Many think UCLA is unstoppable. But what about the team that fought their way through the heart of their conference schedule without their two best players/stoner's? Yea, that's right. I like Uconn.

The west is yet again, the weakest bracket. If they can somehow pull off a tough win against UCLA, they should make it to San Antonio. I have little to no confidence in a Duke team living and eventually dying by the three ball. And then there is no one else.

SILVERMAN TARGETS AMERICAN GLADIATORS

Look out Wolf, David Silverman is coming for you. And Helga. The former Michigan Lacrosse sensation and Washington Hebrew icon has made a verbal commitment to compete in the next season of The American Gladiators on NBC. For years, Silverman has watched old epsidoes of the program preaching poor powerball tactics and Gauntlet miscues. He vowed to not only compete, but to "punish" such primadona gladiators. With the 2008 return, he will have his chance to put his parents money where Dubins cock has been.

"Once those balls start flying in "Assault", I am really in my element. I look forward to penetrating through all the Gladiator's tight defenses."

Nothing would bring him more joy than to compete in the Joust. "I feel most comfortable competing in the Joust with a giant rod in my grasp," spurned David as he brushed his bejan Staci's hair. While Silverman does not expect stiff competition, he anticipates well hung 100 lb medicine balls cuming at him full speed.

Silverman is not going at this alone. He has hired one of the most well respected,foul-breathed Israeli trainers in the world. Danny "blasting power" Schlomo.

Hungover Weatherman Forecasts Rape Allegations

Fox 5 Dallas weatherman Brendan Jones predicts a myriad of charges will be heading his way out of the Northwest at 10-15 mph following a night of heavy drinking with his buddies. Jones, 26, is the grandson of Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. Authorities have yet to charge Jones and are rather surprised that he would come out publicly and accuse himself of crimes that may or may not have occured.  No formal statement has been issued other than his hungover recollection of the events on this mornings news broadcast.

The events began last night at Club Romo, a very popular club in the gay community in Dallas. On the dance floor of Romo's, Jones and his friends ran into Jason Witten and a few other Cowboy players. The group drank all night long which lead to black outs; when the brain shuts down for the night. Slowly piecing together his evening, Jones acted like a detective uncovering the events of his night.

"I found a piece of toast, a ball of rolled up one's and a receipt from West Garden for $100 in my bed. From exhibits A-C, I can conclude that I definitely did not turn off my stove."